Moving with Children

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Moving With KIDS - tips for a fun and stress-free relocation

Life is full of big transitions and there are none more challenging than moving with children. Uprooting your child from their home, school, and friends can be as heartbreaking as it is exciting. Here are some tips on how to help your kids reduce their moving stress, adjust to change, and even look forward to it.

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Tips on Moving with Babies and Toddlers

Children this age are very portable as their world is generally centred around their immediate family. If you keep these things consistent and have their important people around, the moving experience will generally be harder on parents than babies and toddlers.
1.

Give your child plenty of attention and hugs, no matter what’s going on around you. If you can be engaged and playful with them it will make all the difference to how they react and adjust. Use all the packing materials and boxes to your advantage.

2.

Keep your explanation's simple. How much you explain depends on how verbal they are. Try recruiting their favourite stuffed animal to provide the explanation's.

3.

Pack their non-essential bedroom or nursery items last and unpack them first. Make sure everything is well marked and can be easily identified and unloaded when you arrive. Non- essentials include extra toys, blankets, clothes, and anything else you won’t need on the actual moving day (or in the immediate days after). Setting up your child’s room is a crucial first day goal when you get there.

4.

Pack your child’s essentials and carry them with you, rather than with your moving stuff. You will need to separate a small bag of things they can’t do without at sleep time. Have their favorite bedding all clean and ironed for their first night at the new house.

5.

Keep to crucial routines despite the pressure you’re under yourself. Most children will be a mess if they get out of routine and don’t get enough sleep, or get out of routine.

6.

Don’t forget to baby proof the new house when you arrive. You may have stairs, landings and other hazards that need attending to before you let them loose.

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Tips on Moving with Pre-Schoolers

Kids of pre-school age will sense that big changes are in the air, but they may have no practical concept of what a move entails. They may wonder, “Do we get to keep our old house?” “Are we taking the toilet?” or, more harrowingly, “Will I have to leave all my toys and pets for the new family?” You can reassure them and put things in perspective.
1.

Talk about what’s happening. Children pick up on whispered conversations, so let them know as soon as you can. You don't need to give your children months of advance warning but fill them in when it's getting obvious i.e. if your house is going on the market, you’re having a big Trade Me sale or packing and tidying up, it will be obvious that something is up.

2.

Spell out the positive things about what will be staying the same (i.e. the whole family is coming, their beds are coming), and what is changing. Let them know if they will have more room to play, a swimming pool or a basketball hoop at their new home.

3.

Visuals are important. At this age seeing is believing. Ideally, take your child to the new town or home and have some playtime there before you move. If that's not possible, give them a video house tour or look at photos. Google Maps is an ideal online tool to familiarise them with their new house, neighbourhood, or town, before you get there.

4.

Let your child help with the move. Put your pre-schooler in charge of packing some of their books or games so they feel they're contributing. Your children can even help sort out the things you don’t want anymore. You could have them tag the toys they want to keep with colorful stickers and do the same with basement or garage items.

5.

Take advantage of the new playground when you’re packing. Kids love packing materials and boxes. You can make caves in your lounge by assembling the boxes, then put flashlights, snacks, books, and blankets in them. While you are packing, they can be creating shops, houses, and race cars.

6.

Be a friendship coach to your children. They will be moving to a place where they may not have any friends or know anyone. Role play and teach them how to approach other children and adults at their new neighbourhood or school. Use the S.E.A. method of Smile, Eye contact and Arms open not closed.

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Tips on Moving with School Age Children

This is the group that find moving most difficult. They have established social networks and may be very anxious about starting fresh. They are leaving their teachers, friends, teams, and clubs. When a child or young adult has had a bestie for a couple of years, to them it feels like forever!
1.

Don’t take it personally. If your child says something like, "I'm not moving”, it's easy to get defensive. It’s advisable to stay calm and empathise. You could confirm why you’re excited about the move but say that you will also miss your friends and neighbours.

2.

For younger, school age children you can help them find ways to say goodbye. For example, you could arrange for them to have a last ‘sleep-over’ or after school playdate. When your house has been emptied you can say goodbye to each room, then say hello to each room at your destination.

3.

Help them to set up an email address to stay in touch with their friends. These days there are a lot of digital and technology applications to keep in touch. Assure them they can use Zoom or FaceTime to communicate and buddy up for online chats and games. You could also assist them to plan a future trip to see their best friend. This makes saying goodbye not seem like forever.

4.

Make sure you’re around when they get home from their new school. Take the time to engage and see how their day went.

5.

Get your kids (and family) involved with church or sporting groups, activity clubs, school holiday programmes to assist them (and you) to meet new people and establish friendships.

6.

Give it time. There’s no fun in being the new kid at school, especially if they had well developed friendships and social networks, before you moved. Be patient as they work through emotions, but make sure their behaviour doesn’t deteriorate by setting appropriate, positive, and healthy limits. Keep a close eye on their adjustment to the new school and how they’re coping.

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